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I don't check bags at the airport just to limit conversation.  I don't make phone calls to people I don't know.  I don't like big crowds.  Sometimes being with people all day makes me go home and sit in the dark at night.  It overwhelms me and exhausts me.  I'm an introvert.  I've always needed people in my life that understand this.

I've needed friends that don't mind sitting in silence or not hearing from me for a few days.  I've needed a boyfriend who always calls and orders the food.  I've needed a family that doesn't ask questions and just silently understands.

Maybe this makes me look grumpy and moody.  Maybe I really am that way.  It's not on purpose, I promise.  I just get so tired.  And then I get migraines and then I know I'm grumpy and moody.

Sometimes I think I need an alter ego.  I don't deal well.  I need a different personality who can handle pressure and stress and then allow the real me to just go on with life without even remembering what happened.  She (or he, I'm not picky) would be really cool and tactful.  And strong and outgoing.

She could go to parties for me, make everyone want to be my friend, and not be awkward.  She could tell people to go away when they're not being nice.  I know this isn't normal, but don't tell me.  Take it up with my alter ego.

I have developed a headache just talking about this.  I need some ibuprofen and a bath.


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