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Isn't it funny how darkness comes with the night?  Not only literally, but also figuratively and emotionally.  Sadness, anger, frustration, insecurities: they usually hit at night.  I wonder why.  Is it because we're distracted all day?  Is it because we're all of the sudden lacking our Vitamin D and our chemicals actually become imbalanced?

I spent a little bit of last night in tears.  Not until I talked to Roger did the tears stop, but the sad thoughts kept coming until I was finally tired enough for sleep.  And it wasn't until this morning that I gained some clarity of the situation.

I've always been moody.  Ask my mom, ask my siblings, ask my boyfriend, ask my friends.  Sometimes I get so grumpy and I usually don't even know why.  It's something that I try to work on every day, and I think I'm getting better with it as I mature.

One moment of hurt feelings can ruin a friendship forever.  Angry words and a moody temperament paired with somewhat delusional feelings and outside input can really send things crumbling.  I spent last night being told that my words were hurtful.  I spent last night apologizing over and over.  I spent last night forgetting why I had hurt feelings in the first place because I was on the defense.

I spent this morning realizing that the other person was grasping at straws, trying to find a reason to fight with me.  I spent this morning realizing that everything they said to me was out of spite, trying to make me feel as bad about myself as they possibly could.  I spent this morning realizing that I did nothing wrong.

I've decided that I'm done apologizing for how someone else makes me feel.  I'm done letting people walk all over me just because they know I'm the nice girl who hates conflict and will apologize first.

If someone has made you upset or sad, tell them.  Nothing blows things out of proportion like silence.  Life is too short to be angry with each other.

Now go hug someone and have a good day, damn it.


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